Next Episode on the Bakerloo Line

The lull is over, I'm excited, something is going to happen soon, not sure what but I’ve got the vibe things are on the turn...Maybe February is on the horizon and I'm going out London town this weekend.

Last night I carried on with my very peculiar tradition

of the late night bake...inspired by the #Britishbakeoff.

I'm not sure why I’ve started doing this but I quite like it,

sporadic baking. Last Saturday I attempted a British classic

Victoria sponge cake at 11:30pm.

Last night the midnight urge to do it again kicked in... so I made Belgium chocolate cookies.

I made 8 in total, they are now all gone. I still have a bit of a cookie dough haze going on in my head but its good, very good.

There seems to be some trend at the moment with baking, this Lorraine Pascale who seems to wear a white long sleeve top extremely well has played a big part in it for me. Her programme broadcast on BBC2 is somewhat irritating yet addictive, it's shot beautifully. They have really nailed how to make baking cool and politely seductive.

Click here to get on the Bakerloo line with Lorraine Pascale Trust me she will make you want to go out and buy a white long sleeve t-shirt. FYI I got mine from H&M
H&M good, classic, white long sleeve Lorraine Pascale style baking outfits


My perception of a highly attractive, slender lady that bakes is the near makings of a modern day superhero. You think of a baker to be overweight, pale, shuffle around a messy kitchen and ooze an odor of damp washing/sweet/yeast smelling sweat?
Very much like the 2 Fat Ladies (the cooking show)remember them? Now although Lorraine Pascal is nice to look at and I still can't get my head around how her whites are so white(I bet she smells like lavender too)... I really enjoyed watching these two porkers fubb-fubb- fubb around the kitchen, encourage their viewers to nip out for a ciggie when pans was simmering and share their dislike of vegetarians.
Neither gave a monkeys about calories or fat. Sadly Fat Lady 1 died of cancer, one month after diagnosis. The day before she died, she asked Fat Lady 2 to bring her a tin of caviar but when Fat Lady 2 arrived at the hospital, Fat Lady 1 had died.

How the times have changed, bearing in mind this was only a few years ago, I'm sure if The 2 Fat Ladies were on TV now, it would be banned and deemed as offensive/discriminating or the 2 Fat Lady's would be made to do a Zumba class and incorporate it into their show.


Most women right now seem to be into dieting and Zumba'ing, I don't think I know a woman who isn't dieting and "Zumba'ing" apart from me. Actually that's a lie, I’ll occasionally eat cereal (cough starve myself) for a couple of days, job done. That means I can not only look miniature but I can spend my food budget in TopShop, yes I have a food budget. Not big or clever I know, instant result though, I’m inpatient.

Zumba classes are killing it at the moment, but for me, although I’ve done it and bashfully can say I loved it, there really is something quite eggy about it. By eggy I mean think of the way an eggy smelly makes you feel/act...this comes in three parts 1. The uncertain looking around 2. The screwing up of the face 3. The embarrassment & giggles. If you're new to Zumba you will experience this, be warned.
The 2 Fat Ladies are the classic demographic for Zumba; overweight older women who wouldn't normally exercise, which is great...not that I’m "Fattist" of course anything we can do to eliminate podge is good, it leads to a longer life.

Zumba is just a bit strange, when has your Mum or Carol the busty family friend that you call "Aunty Carol" ever played HipHop, RnB/Dancehall music, grinded like Playboy bunnies to it and loved it... Never! (except when there is alcohol involved) The amount of times I can quote my Mother shouting at me to turn my Technic 1210s down "TURN THAT FU*KING SHOUTING DOWN NOW". That would be Snoop Dog Next Episode Mother.
Click for a Snooooooooop blast from the past


Maybe it's the music these loose women like... Zumba has brought a whole new flood of fabulous size 14, middle class, 50 something female black music fans. You'll see them cruising in their Range Rovers outside Oundle School waiting for Florence and Tarquin Junior. Never before would this of happened without Zumba unless Tim Westwood became the new Philip Schofield or Hugh Grant.
Or possibly it's the way it makes them feel... Zumba packs out shabby village halls and commands these MILF's into feeling sexy, that could explain why they're there in the first place... Sex Burns 360 Calories per hour (explains why sluts are skinny).

Never turn down a good meal, cake or bit of caviar then make sure you have sex for at least 1 hour...
Live for pleasure and parade the LOL's.